In the spring of 1976 I tasted alcohol and drugs for the very first time.
I was just 16!
Then followed 14 long years of living in an evil and desperate world of a crazy addiction to alcohol, speed, acid, hash, barbiturates and crack cocaine. I lost my family, my friends and eventually my sanity and finally ended up sectioned to a female alcohol ward in Valley mental hospital, Connecticut USA.
From the time my eyes painfully opened each morning to the time my aching body collapsed drunk and completely stoned later that day, my shameful and sinful life revolved around this pitiful existence, most days I contemplated suicide!
Through all of this time (for reasons I can’t explain) for some reason I actually managed to keep a journal of my daily struggle, I found it strangely comforting writing my personal and private thoughts down on paper, it became my ‘comfort blanket’.
In December 1990 while I was once again in the ‘Walter. B Jones treatment centre’ Greenville North Carolina, God reached out his hand and called my name! and I experienced a divine supernatural encounter and intervention by the Holy Spirit!
That blessed night, I fell onto my knees and with the beautiful sound of the song ‘Amazing Grace’ playing in my head and tears in my eyes, I cried out! and the Lord took out my heart of stone – and I gave ny life to God!
A couple of weeks later I moved back to Elizabeth City, North Carolina where I spent the next 5 months attending meetings at AA (alcoholics anonymous) and NA (narcotics anonymous)- for the first time since I was 16 (14 years before)I found myself Sober, Clean and Saved – but something was missing!
I decided I needed to see my family and tell them ……
My family (all born-again christians) we welcoming and very happy for me and my Step-Mother told me (in no uncertain terms) that I needed to be “around other christians and I needed to find a church” – I asked “how?” – she handed me a ‘yellow pages’ telephone directory and told me to look under ‘full gospel’ for a church. When I said “what am I supposed to be looking for?” – she replied “you’ll know it when you find it!”
Then on May 5th 1991, 5 months after I had given my life to God, I finally found the courage to go to church for the first time in my life, the church was Rock church in Elizabeth City NC, it was to become my home and spiritual training ground for the next 5 years!
The journals on this blog record the immediate months after becoming a christian in 1991 including my time at Rock church and continue for the next 13 years until 2004.
The addictions and struggles were still with me, but this time I had JESUS!
Please note! – You can view the journals by clicking on the dates at the top of this page. When you get to the page, start at the bottom (the earliest entry)
Please enjoy and feel free to subscribe at the top right of this page ….
Blessings
Kelly
kellytanner.wordpress.com 